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Self Confidence
by Jim Sullivan
As a hypnotherapist I specialise in helping people to develop confidence
and self esteem. But what is confidence? I find a great deal of
misunderstanding among my clients; many tell me that they want to become
more confident “but not too confident”, as if confidence can be dangerous in
large quantities.
Many people, it seems, associate brashness and arrogance with confidence.
Indeed, arrogant people may be strong in some dimensions of confidence, but
they are seriously deficient in others. Truly confident people are aware of
their own emotional state, and in tune with the emotions of others. True
self confidence leads to feelings of relaxation in a wide range of
situations. Such relaxation feeds the individual’s confidence, setting up a
virtuous circle.
In order to understand self confidence we have to consider it as a
multi-dimensional quality. Your confidence at any specific moment is a
complex blend of factors, including social confidence, physical presence,
peer independence, stage presence and physical presence. Everybody has their
own, distinctive, profile of confidence.
So the bullying, ‘alpha male’ business leader who struts around the office
may indeed be strong in physical presence and stage presence, but may lack
confidence in the value of their opinions, and may indeed find it difficult
to stay true to their core values and beliefs.
This is at the heart of real confidence : the ability to remain true to
those values which you hold dear. A balanced, self-confident person is the
same in any company. The presence of high status individuals, or low status
individuals, does not significantly change their responses or outward
displays. A truly self confident person knows what they believe and can
remain comfortable expressing their beliefs regardless of the prevailing
fashion.
Is this you? Do you feel comfortable expressing yourself in a group, with
people from all strata of society? We all fall short of the ideal, in this
as in other aspects of our lives, but it is comforting to know that self
confidence can be developed and nurtured.
Many thousands of people have taken the Confidence Club questionnaire, which
profiles a person’s strengths and weaknesses against 5 different dimensions
of confidence. The questionnaire can be found here :
www.confidenceclub.net/process/questionnaire.php
If you have ever found yourself wondering why your confidence seems to
desert you in certain circumstances, take the questionnaire and find out
precisely where your strengths and weaknesses lie. You may be surprised by
what you can learn about yourself.
About the Author
Jim Sullivan is a hypnotherapist and confidence coach. He may be
contacted via Confidence Club :
www.confidenceclub.net
